I think I found out what the fourth nail is for. (a placeholder nail that Eva gave me) Big scary shit over the last few weeks- the possibility that my NSCLC may have spread my spinal fluid. Apparently 50% of Lung Cancer patients end up with this as a secondary cancer – as if living with once cancer isn’t enough. (since resolved, phew! but read on.)

I’m pretty good with odds like that. I can usually beat 50%. Being the grandson of two gamblers has caused me to focus on odds numbers a little differently in terms of what they mean to me.

If in fact I do have the cancer cells in my spinal fluid they say that I have about 4 to 6 weeks to live. That’s way too short and I’m not digging the odds. Since were talking odds- here’s another crazy statistic. My particular type of cancer carries a <1% survuval rate 5 years out. It’s going to be a motherfucker of a number to beat but I will. It’s also why we don’t look at numbers.

And other nail: a 13th brain tumor to radiate. It’s been a while since I’ve had to go to Clevelad for Gamma Knife, and we’ve been so blesed. But, alas, the little mother f@#$&* is right there in the dead center of my brain. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be bothering anything, however it is more weight to carry around.

I’ve tried to steer clear of talking about prognosis and numbers- and Corey’s been very helpful in keeping the focus on beating the odds. However, they do creep in and can be very helpful in understanding what’s important- like really important in life.

I just keep in mind what needs to be done today and prioritize things differently, like remembering to drop off $14 at the school so Gianna get the shirt that she needs, that stuff is important. Second on the list is stopping at the hardware store so I can fix my wife’s bedside light, it needs some love.

Really important.

Just the other day, after more that 4 weeks of waiting, we got the news we were hoping for – no cancer cells in the spinal fluid, just one brain tumor! One brain tumor! Awesome! – Its pretty much like standing at the craps table With Sergio and Dante aAnd a table full of family and friends, and we just rolled the hard 8.

Wow, how my perspective has changed.

We’ll keep everyone posted as to when the prcedure will be scheduled. It looks as if we can stay here in Philly this time, which is great. Should take a good bit of a Friday but, home and back in action over the weekend.

A big huge thanks you all of our amazing doctors and family and most recently the Dean Randazzo Cancer Foundation (more on that here) who consistently bend over backwards to make sure I can keep living and doing. (literally and figuartively) I have the very best team around. (more on nails here)

Game On!