Looks like I’m gonna’ work right up to another Gamma Knife procedure. Knife-less brain surgery. Friday. Here in Philly (thanks for the new machine!) I have a Neuro Surgeon, a Radiation Oncologist and a Physicist together in a room, and a four pinned head gear that is screwed to my head. They’ll put me in the machine, and stand on the other side of the glass. It can take a few hours. I have scars from the first procedure, the next two were not as damaging. W’ell wait and see what lucky 13 leaves, more battle wounds to wear.

The primary job – eliminate my latest brain tumor, number 13, by sending a very high dose of radiation to the tumor from several different directions…don’t move!  Yikes!  The machine is like all the others – loud, big and f#*$@% scary!  Its been a shift for me to be ok in these machines…I can do it, but there are scars…scars on my head, that will heal but each time, life is different.  Maybe I should get a tattoo on my head that says AIM HERE! or some sort of mark to indicate the point of impact. That would be good, a henna, so it’s there for a bit.  Just for fun – for a bit…why not?

Sophia asked me why there was paperwork from Cleveland Clinic on my desk.  The kids are sharp…we try and keep life as normal and this is what we do now (we also do tons of fun stuff) there’s work to do, treatments to go to appointments weekly. I try and present these events as a job and not get too emotional, however it can be difficult for me to handle.  It is brain surgery for God’s sake and yes I have had it three times already…but you never get used to this stuff. ever.

What was in those twelve portions of by brain did I not need?  They blast them with so much radiation that that part of my brain is gone! Was I using that for something? Is it something like my appendix? Something I can go without it?  I have a hard time remembering names, but I’m also just getting old.  12 pieces gone, one more on the way out…what did they do? I’m working full time-top of my game, playing music, paying bills, taking out the trash. Makes one wonder…

The side effects, yea them, go ahead and challenge my balance, take my surfing away, sailing, snowboarding, and skateboarding with my girls, yea – NO.

Challenging my balance is dropping in at Ulwatus in Indonesia on a friends Campbell Brother Bonzer (thanks Mitch) he said it knew that wave, and it did.  I’ll stick with that. Challenge my balance – Ha! I’ll beat you, you nasty little tumors. We’ve got Trestles to conquer again this Spring.

Nikki suggests I consider the almost thirteen sections of brain were not serving me. Maybe they held all of my bad memories, and fears, and doubts, and without them I can be free of their burden. Wouldn’t that be nice. Less burden. More room for fun. Yeah- I’ll go with that. More room for fun.